Finding the Courage to Begin

“To walk through requires courage. I might not return unchanged.” P.K. Price
There are many things about taking on the Ice Age Trail that require courage.

Am I strong enough to hike that many miles? What if I come across bears, wild dogs, or sketchy people? How will I pay for all of the gear, gas, food, etc? Should I really be doing this alone…what about those sketchy people?! What if I hike all those miles and don’t feel any different? What if I can’t hack it and I don’t finish? What will people think if I start this blog and publicly declare my goal, but just keep extending it, from 3 years, to 4, to 5 to….? What if I fall and break an ankle? Can I really ask friends, acquaintances, and distant family members to help me out, like so many others seem to do, without being a burden? What if I get caught in a dangerous thunderstorm? What if my car breaks down in the middle of nowhere? What if I get totally lost  on the trail? What if I’m not as smart as I think I am and I totally mess up out there? What if I’m writing this blog but I’m actually a terrible writer and you are all rolling your eyes right now at how clichéd and self-absorbed I sound?! 

What if the trail changes me in ways I don’t even like?

What if?

That’s a phrase that tends to keep rational people from taking too big of risks. Meanwhile, we keep daydreaming of all the things we want to do someday, but someday comes and goes and then you are 85 and looking back, wondering why you barely did any of those things. It was because of the “What If”s. That phrase keeps us down.

I don’t want to keep letting my “What If”s keep me down. That’s why I’m doing this trail, right now. Yes, rationally I know I should prepare more. I should save some money, take some more skill building workshops, read more accounts of other people’s journeys to learn from them. I should talk more to gear guys at REI. I should carefully map out all my routes and plan months ahead to different possible trips I need to take to complete the further out segments. But if I wait to start to do all those things first, my “What If”s might catch up to me. I can’t take that risk.

Yes, it is dangerous to start this hike. Any or all of those “What If”s really could happen. But for who I am, who I want to be, and the well-being of my soul, it is more dangerous not to start at all.

So for now, I’ll be following the Yellow Blazed Road and seeing where it takes me, physically and metaphorically.